Dear Jack,
Many hours later after our conversation this morning, the questions you said you asked Lolo while visiting their grave at Loyola (I'm sure he listened to you with amusement; half-smile with a twinkle in his eyes) kept replaying in my head.
"Why me?" - you asked him. You felt that this path is not for you. That you're too rebellious, too wild, too materialistic, too disobedient, impatient and unteachable.
You asked God the same thing. He and Lolo must have been conversing - because the answer have been the same. You felt it in your heart - the best compass we have. And that's the reason why you're struggling with the answer to your question - because you've known the answer all along!
It actually amuses me too, since I just now realized that we share the same characteristics - making us unlikely candidates as God's servants - servitude has no place in our dictionary - we love our independence, our individuality, our freedom and our pride. But it is exactly because of this self-exaltation that He has chosen us.
I am saying us - because, despite my excuses, my detours and the various paths I have taken, I know in my heart that it will eventually lead to where He wants me to be in my immediate future.
I can tell you how fortunate and blessed we are that we have been chosen -but I know that you've heard that before. So let me ask you this - what if we have not been chosen? What if Lolo and Lola were not faithful to him? What if all of these never happened, instead, we are just living ordinary lives - not having any calling from anyone, just making it day to day for no particular reason? No God to choose you, no grandparents to trail blaze - what would your life be like?
Imagine having a set of grandparents who have more money than they can spend - but do not have enough time to spend with you. Who spends a lot of time entertaining themselves - but would not know how to pray for you? Who can hosts parties for everyone - but would not bother to sit down for a heart to heart with you?
The list can go on - but the point is, we all are part of the generation that are chosen because of the hours that Lolo and Lola spent on their knees praying for all of us, one by one. You, especially, being the first born, have been chosen because He knows you even before you were a spark or a thought. I understand your hesitation - you feel like an accidental servant - but deep inside, you must know, that this is not a mistake, or an accident, the path has been designed just for you.
"For many are called, but few are chosen.." Matthew 22:14 (KJV)
